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Learn how to Share a Deep Friendship with a Non-Believer

Qamar by Qamar
June 25, 2026
in Relationships
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Learn how to Share a Deep Friendship with a Non-Believer
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Friendships are available all types from all totally different seasons of life. Your childhood pals, these you grew up with since elementary faculty, to these you performed sports activities with throughout highschool. Then comes school pals, roommates, pals of pals, to not point out friendships it’s possible you’ll develop with co-workers or some other teams you belong with. If you’re concerned in your church, there are individuals throughout the church you grow to be pals with after which you have got all of your partner’s pals or pals with the dad and mom your youngsters play with. We may have pals there for our lifetime, after which some pals will solely be there for a season. In any case, the query is if you find yourself a believer, how do you share a deep friendship with a non-believer? 

What Did Jesus Do?

Jesus was our biggest instance, and I’m so grateful we will take a look at his Phrase and his time on Earth for fact to assist navigate life. Once we consider Jesus’s life, we all know that He was the Messiah who cherished and healed everybody who encountered Him. He cherished the lots of individuals and touched everybody who had the privilege to spend time with Him. He even cherished the unbelieving, the sinners, and people solid out from society, like girls or these with bodily illnesses. He embodied loving everybody – which included non-believers. 

Nonetheless, these He spent essentially the most time with, day in and day for 3 years all through His ministry, had been His chosen twelve disciples. These had been the individuals He had His deepest friendships with. They had been all believers of Him and selected to go away their present lives and begin dwelling in keeping with Jesus’ manner as they walked with Him in His ministry. Even after Jesus died on the cross, the disciples continued believing and spreading the message of Jesus because the Messiah to the world. 

Jesus cherished all, however his closest pals had been twelve believers. Nonetheless, in the event you take it a step additional, He then narrowed down his interior circle to 3 of the twelve disciples – Peter, James, and John. Many theologians consider that these had been his closest and deepest friendships as they had been the three who had been with him the longest (Luke 5:4-11), and these three had been current with Jesus throughout particular occasions. They had been eyewitnesses of Jesus’s transfiguration (Mark 9:2-3). They witnessed Jesus elevating Jairus’s daughter from the useless (Luke 8:49-56). And one of the vital intimate settings for Jesus was when he prayed within the Backyard of Gethsemane earlier than His loss of life on the cross, and it was these three males who accompanied Him within the backyard whereas He prayed (Matthew 26:37). These three witnessed Jesus’ biggest moments and His darkest trials. 

So, what did Jesus do? He cherished all and cherished many, He spent His days with 12 different believers, and He had three shut pals by His facet in all the main moments—during which all of them had been robust believers. 

Jesus offers us an instance of who to have deep friendships with. Nonetheless, many people have deep friendships with unbelievers proper now, and on no account, am I saying you might want to minimize all of your non-believing pals out of your life. Or perhaps you might be married to an unbeliever as maybe you got here to know the Lord after marriage. However taking a look at Jesus’ life for example is one thing to contemplate as you hunt down fact within the Bible and pray for methods to navigate any relationships you might be in with unbelievers.

The Warning of Having Deep Friendships with Non-Believers

The Bible is filled with knowledge on befriending non-believers. Proverbs 12:26 says that “the righteous ought to select his pals fastidiously, for the way in which of the depraved leads them astray.” The extra time you spend with somebody, the extra you possibly can grow to be like them. Having deep friendships with unbelievers, we might simply be setting ourselves as much as discuss like them, suppose like them, act like them, and fall into sin like them. After all, as believers, all of us fall quick as properly, and on no account ought to we decide others. However the extra you share deep friendships with unbelievers, the extra you might be influenced by them.

Ask your self if these you have got deep friendships with are main you astray – in different phrases, are they pointing you away from the Lord or pointing you in direction of Him? Do you gossip with them, slander others with them, or go to them for recommendation once you’re going via one thing tough? Is their recommendation biblical or worldly? Are they a hindrance to your stroll with God?

Romans 12:2a says, “Don’t be conformed to this world…” Take a while to consider questions like these as that is one thing to contemplate as a warning when having deep friendships with non-believers. Take stock of your closest friendships and the way they might be affecting your stroll with the Lord. Many people have deep friendships with non-believers, and that’s okay, however we may have to regulate some issues and ensure we’re not being influenced or swayed away from the deepest and most necessary relationship we are going to ever have—and that’s with the Lord. When you’ve got some deep friendships with non-believers, listed here are three biblical methods to try this:

3 Methods to Share a Deep Friendship with Non-Believers

1. That you must love them.

When the scribes requested Jesus what the best commandment was in Matthew 22:34-40, Jesus replied, “You shall love the Lord your God with all of your coronary heart, with all of your soul, and with all of your thoughts…and the second is prefer it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as your self.”

To share a deep relationship with anybody in our life, however particularly a non-believer, we’re to like them. We’re to like non-believers simply as Jesus cherished others, and in doing so, we present them Christ’s love versus the love they’re receiving from the world. Loving them means accepting them as they’re, not judging them, being affected person with them for they don’t all the time know the methods of God as non-believers, being form to them, forgiving them simply as Jesus forgives us, strolling alongside them, struggling with them (which might imply praying for them and inspiring them), exhibiting compassion on them, and being the form of love they’ve by no means skilled earlier than. By loving them the way in which Jesus loves, we might be an instance for them and present them Christ-like love. 

2. That you must be set aside. 

To be in a deep relationship with a non-believer, it’s necessary we nonetheless reside out our religion and be that instance to them. We don’t have to dim our mild and our relationship with God simply because they don’t have the identical relationship with God. 

Matthew 5:14 says, “You’re the mild of the world. A Metropolis that’s set on a hill can’t be hidden. Nor do they mild a lamp and put it beneath a basket, however on a lampstand, and it offers mild to all who’re in the home. Let your mild so shine earlier than males, they might see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”

A lovely factor about having a deep friendship with a non-believer is you could make clear the reality of God of their lives. You are able to do this by the way in which you reside your life and by dwelling out God’s fact. It’s onerous to be daring and straightforward to be afraid at occasions of what others suppose. Nonetheless, our function and what’s known as the Nice Fee is to “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them within the title of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Educating them to look at all issues that I’ve commanded you…” (Matthew 28:19-20).

It is onerous to be set aside and never conform to this world, nevertheless it’s what Jesus requested of us, and we will have deep friendships with non-believers by simply being ourselves, dwelling out our religion, and being a light-weight to them in a darkish world. Be set aside simply as Jesus was. 

3. That you must pray for them.

To have a deep relationship with a non-believer, make prayer a precedence. We’d like to ensure we’re praying that we aren’t influenced or swayed by them in any manner. Additionally, it’s necessary we pray for after we work together with them, asking the Holy Spirit to talk to us and immediate us when to talk up and when to not communicate up. After which we must always pray for them all the time as we’re inspired in I Thessalonians 5:17, particularly praying for his or her salvation and asking the Lord to make use of us as a light-weight and testimony of their lives. 

There isn’t a better weapon that we’ve on this facet of Earth than prayer. Think about seeing their life remodeled for the Lord. Think about how a lot deeper your friendship can be in the event you had the Lord as the middle of your friendship.

Praying for them has the facility to probably change their life and cause them to Jesus, and it permits us to elevate up their wants on their behalf. One of many biggest roles we are going to ever have in a friendship with a non-believer is the position we’ve on our knees in prayer.

Having a relationship with a non-believer might be difficult, and we should be cautious that we’re guarding ourselves towards being led astray. But when we do have deep relationships with non-believers, we will accomplish that by exhibiting them Jesus. We are able to love them in a manner that Christ loves and never the way in which the world loves. We might be set aside in our actions and conversations with them by not taking part within the methods or views of the world. And we will pray for them within the hope of being part of their coming to know the Lord and being that instrument in partnering with the Lord, bringing them into His Kingdom. 

Photograph Credit score: ©GettyImages/Finn Hafemann

Alisha Headley is a author + speaker who has a want to satisfy the on a regular basis lady in her on a regular basis life with biblical fact. Moving into her true calling, she left the company world behind as a former-financial VP to like on her household as a stay-at-home wifey + canine mama, whereas additionally with the ability to pursue her ardour as a author. Therapeutic from a chapter of life consumed with lies she as soon as believed about herself, she is impressed to level girls to Christ to expertise the liberty + energy to beat these lies with the reality written in God’s phrase. In her free time, Alisha enjoys street journeys across the nation, figuring out so she will eat her favourite meals, and creatively styling her outfits with a craft for trend. Alisha is a proud wifey and canine mama dwelling in Scottsdale, Arizona.

You may observe her weblog by visiting her web site alishaheadley.com or join along with her on fb + instagram.





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