Find out how to Discern Counterfeit Relationships and Belief God’s “No”
Have you ever ever been in a relationship with a man who you thought was the one? I imply, he was the proper package deal on the surface—tall, good-looking, stated all the best issues, and even attended church usually. He appeared to be every thing you prayed for in a future husband. However then, his true colours had been revealed. You later found that he was not despatched by God however extra like by Devil. You had been deceived and ended up heartbroken, feeling like a idiot.
Sis, you aren’t alone. I, like many different ladies, share an analogous story of a counterfeit relationship that left me indignant and confused, choosing up all of the items of my shattered coronary heart. However I wish to inform you that there’s hope. God healed me and gave me knowledge to assist me keep away from it from taking place once more sooner or later. I wish to cross this identical data on to you as your sister in Christ as I share extra of my private story—if you’ll let me.
What Is a Counterfeit Relationship?
First, I wish to be certain that we’re on the identical web page after I check with the time period “counterfeit relationship.” It’s a relationship that appears good on the surface however, deep down, lacks authenticity and substance. Counterfeit companions are misleading by nature and infrequently have ulterior motives—to break their victims for private achieve by making the most of the weak. They look like godly however are actually wolves in sheep’s clothes. They’re by no means actually surrendered to God.
2 Corinthians 11:14 says, “However I’m not shocked! Even Devil disguises himself as an angel of sunshine” (NLT). This scripture reveals us that not every thing that looks as if gentle actually is.
I wish to share with you three recommendations on the best way to discern a counterfeit from the actual factor in order that you’ll by no means must be deceived or undergo the emotional ache of a counterfeit relationship once more.
Find out how to Acknowledge a Counterfeit Relationship
1. Verify the Fruit
Oftentimes, many ladies can simply develop into head over heels for a love curiosity, which makes them fall prey to counterfeits. I used to be a hopeless romantic and a straightforward goal for mine. I used to be blinded by love and missed many purple flags. That’s why I encourage ladies to make use of their heads earlier than their hearts develop into absolutely invested.
Sis, guard your coronary heart and use your eyes. Have a look at the fruit in his life. Matthew 7:18 and 20 says, “A superb tree can’t produce dangerous fruit, and a foul tree can’t produce good fruit…Sure, simply as you possibly can establish a tree by its fruit, so you possibly can establish folks by their actions” (NLT). Pay much less consideration to the phrases he says and extra consideration to what he’s really doing. Simply since you met him at church or he’s a professing Christian doesn’t imply he’s the actual deal.
What’s his character like? Does he comply with by means of on his guarantees? Is he constant? Is he dwelling a life that’s submitted to the Phrase of God and His instructions? The man I dated was flaky, his tales didn’t add up, and his private life-style didn’t replicate that of a follower of Christ. His actions revealed dangerous fruit. You may imitate gentle, however you possibly can’t pretend fruit. So once more I say, test that fruit!
2. Hearken to Godly Counsel
One other tip I typically give is: don’t date alone. I encourage you to ask your godly neighborhood into your courting relationships. Proverbs 11:14 says, “The place there isn’t any counsel, the folks fall; however within the multitude of counselors there may be security” (NKJV). Wolves prefer to go after the loner, however for those who keep inside your neighborhood, you received’t develop into a sufferer of their schemes.
Your folks, household, and trusted folks in your life can see what you possibly can’t. They will additionally present smart recommendation when challenges or uncertainty come up throughout the relationship. Now, I encourage you to take heed of their recommendation. My family and friends warned me concerning the man I used to be courting. Sadly, I dismissed their warnings, and I suffered enormously. There’s no level in having counsel for those who keep away from their knowledge. So hearken to them as a result of they’ve your greatest pursuits at coronary heart and don’t wish to see you get harm.
3. Belief God’s “No”
This one stands out as the hardest to do, nevertheless it presents the most effective reward. Sadly, for me, it took some time to see the significance of trusting God’s “no.” Together with not heeding the recommendation of my buddies, I additionally disregarded the warnings from God.
You see, God warned me by means of a number of desires that this man had a number of ladies in his life and that he was not His greatest for me. I didn’t wish to settle for it as a result of I didn’t wish to be alone. I felt like God simply needed me to be single ceaselessly. However the fact of the matter was that He had higher plans for me.
Isaiah 55:8 says, “For My ideas aren’t your ideas, nor are your methods My methods,” says the LORD. Sis, it’s a must to belief God. He has your greatest pursuits at coronary heart. He can see the center and secrets and techniques of the man you’re courting that you could’t see. He additionally is aware of the longer term and the plans He has for you. No matter which will entail, simply know that they’re good as a result of He’s good! Trusting God’s “no” will prevent time, sources, power, psychological stress, and heartache in the long term. It won’t make sense in the meanwhile, however wanting again, you’ll notice it was all in love.
Discovering Therapeutic After a Counterfeit Relationship
It took some time, however I lastly trusted God’s “no” for that specific counterfeit. Afterward, I centered on rebuilding my relationship with God and sought therapeutic for my damaged coronary heart. I worshipped, learn the Bible, prayed, journaled what was on my coronary heart, took lessons, frolicked with like-minded believers, and centered on bettering myself for when the best one got here. I discovered Psalm 147:3 to be true: “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds” (NLT). God did simply that as I frolicked with Him.
It’s possible you’ll really feel such as you’ll by no means be capable to love once more after going by means of such emotional heartache, however I’m right here to inform you that it’ll get higher. Real love is on the market. On the proper time, God introduced me my husband, Damien. When he pursued me, I noticed the godly fruit in his life, all my buddies authorized of the connection, and God (and my pure father) gave us the sure to get married. Now, we live in a purposeful and joy-filled marriage with children. It was all well worth the journey and the wait.
I pray you discovered my story encouraging. I wish to go away you with this final thought: “It’s higher to attend on the actual factor than waste time on a counterfeit.” Sis, you are value greater than an imitation. You deserve actual, godly love.
If you happen to loved this weblog, I wish to invite you to my FREE webinar referred to as “Avoiding Counterfeit Relationships,” the place I dive deeper into this subject and offer you 4 sensible steps on the best way to break away from a counterfeit relationship and obtain therapeutic as you await God’s greatest. I even have a FREE reward for individuals who attend the webinar and keep to the very finish. You may achieve entry to the webinar HERE! See you inside.
With Love,
Kenady Nash
Photograph Credit score: ©Getty Photos/dragana991
Collectively, Kenady and Damien share content material on relationships, religion, humor, and private progress by means of YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok @DamienandKenady. In addition they co-own Fully You 365, LLC. To study extra go to completelyyou365.com.
