Hiya! I’m Michael Taft. That is Deconstructing Your self. So, that’s what we’re going to do. And we often do this by having an hour-long guided meditation. adopted by a chat and after the discuss, then we do an open Q&A—or dialogue, or report, or no matter, with you all. After which on the very finish, we’ll do perhaps 5 minutes of silent meditation collectively. So, that’s how this system often goes.
Typically it will get wildly interrupted by pterodactyls or unintentional bell ringing or one thing, however that’s often the way it goes. So, bear in mind, with the guided meditation, it’s all an invite. You don’t should do any a part of it. For those who simply wish to sit right here and ignore the entire thing, and simply since you wish to sit in a gaggle, nice—so long as you’re quiet and nonetheless, you’re welcome to return meditate with us. Another choice is to go as far together with it as you want, after which if you get a spot that feels proper, however you don’t wish to go any additional, then simply keep there. Or you may robust it out and go all the best way to the top of the steerage—no matter you’d like. So, that’s how this works.
We often begin out with some motion. The identical factor applies to the motion. Like I’m saying, let’s do this motion. Let’s attempt that motion. However your physique is your physique. It’s not my physique. So, and also you’re fortunate it’s not my physique—mine hurts. Do what works for you. Do what is sensible on your physique. I’m simply giving solutions, okay?
[guided movement]
Okay. So simply sit like an ocean, like an unlimited, deep, deep, broad, ocean. There’s no pressure wherever within the ocean. It’s simply this monumental physique of water. It’s so massive it doesn’t even have shores. And nowhere on this ocean is something tight or tense. It’s all simply open. And what I’d such as you to do, is simply really feel invited to take your considering thoughts, and simply set it on the shore, or on the underside of the ocean, or one thing, the place you’re not going to work together with it. It may be there. It could assume as a lot because it needs. It could do no matter it needs. We’re not making an attempt to interrupt it, or management it, or fear about it, or attempt to do something with it in any respect. It will get to do what it needs. However we’re simply not likely going to work together with it. As an alternative, as soon as we set it apart, we simply come into easy presence.
And easy presence is easy. The instant query I get is, how do I do it? You simply set your considering thoughts apart after which come into presence. So it doesn’t take any thought in any respect. You’re simply merely coming into pure open ease, exterior of all that psychological development—which may nonetheless be occurring. We simply have complete permission to disregard it and as a substitute take note of, or naturally be with, our beingness, our openness, our oceanic presence. And from this place of openness and ease and spaciousness, let’s do a number of the om mani mantra aloud collectively. If you wish to, if it’s a part of your apply, you may think about a blazing illuminated gentle above your head. That’s the Buddha Amitabha. The Buddha Amitabha means limitless gentle, measureless gentle. And we simply image this extremely loving gentle of kindness, and pleasure, and peace, as we chant the mantra of Avalokiteshvara.
[chanting Om Mani Padme Hum]
Excellent. Now once more staying utterly exterior engagement with thought or simply merely resting in openness, resting in awakeness. Not trying out however somewhat checking in—remaining current, remaining right here and awake somewhat than misplaced within the countless halls of thought. So let’s simply sit on this easy presence and if you wish to you may simply remember in a really relaxed means of the approaching and going of the breath. Most essential factor is to only not attempt too laborious. Simply keep relaxed. Keep comfortable, unfastened, open, however very awake.
Attempt to breathe by way of your nostril if potential. And anytime you end up re-engaging with excited about stuff, don’t fear about it. Simply actually in a really relaxed means, simply let it go once more and are available again to only being oceanic. The ocean is big. There could be every kind of stuff occurring, but it surely’s so massive that it’s simply general very relaxed, very chill, even with a whole lot of stuff occurring. And as we’re disengaged with thought, it’s attention-grabbing that point is a thought. And with out considering, we simply let go of time fully. We’re simply right here in a timeless openness that could be very pure, very simple, very relaxed.
Okay, good. Now, be happy to only proceed that if you want. However for those who’d like to maneuver alongside right here, then what I invite you to do is solely take heed to the sounds of the world round you. Not listening for something specifically, or making an attempt to label something, or something like that. Simply listening as if listening to chook tune or one thing. Simply listening to all of the totally different sounds, and feeling into the spaciousness and openness of the sound. We would say the silence and the sound collectively. It’s relaxed. We’re not making an attempt laborious to make one thing occur, or visualize one thing—or something like that. It’s actually about noticing that the sound is arising out of a background of complete silence and returning to complete silence, constantly, and that complete silence is there throughout the sound the entire time.
Once more, it’s not one thing to determine, or attempt to boot up a bunch of considering round. Only a easy noticing. And once more in our oceanic, open, spaciousness, simply let all of the sound transfer by way of you, as for those who’re clear. The sound is simply occurring, and it’s not encountering any resistance, no impedance—it’s unobstructed, it’s unhindered. For those who pay attention fastidiously, you may hear a boundless void proper there, that every one the sound is popping out of and returning again into. An virtually unimaginably deep and huge silence that the whole lot is arising from, and dying again into.
And pay attention, take heed to the virtually inconceivable miracle that sound is occurring in any respect. There’s this wealthy, vibrant, luminous readability of sound arising within the midst of all this huge silence. The truth that it’s even there in any respect is unimaginable, inconceivable, vibrant, vivid.
Good. Excellent. Now, if you wish to, we are able to do a factor with our open eyes. You don’t should, however simply in a really relaxed means, very chill, very simple. You simply permit your eyes to open and take within the entirety of the visible scene evenly. So, usually we stare on the middle of imaginative and prescient, however I need you to let your eyes deal with infinity in order that it’s nonetheless sharp, however you’re seeing your complete visible area directly, with the peripheral imaginative and prescient as essential or as attended to as the middle of imaginative and prescient. So that you’re getting the entire visible area in consideration.
Be happy to blink and stuff. This isn’t about holding your eyes nonetheless, however simply permit all that imaginative and prescient to pour in. Simply pouring pouring in. And spot for those who can, the huge blackness behind all of it. The large void behind all of it. It’s proper there. You may really see it. And miraculously, for no obvious motive, proper in the midst of it’s this vivid, vibrant, colourful gentle present of the whole lot showing. Astonishing, unobstructed, unimpeded, simply occurring. You don’t should think about something or make one thing up. It’s simply occurring proper there. The place’s it even coming from? And spot that every one this gentle present is simply arising out of nothing after which dancing in awakeness after which returning to nothing, constantly. The 2 are by no means separate. To whom is that this even showing?
Okay, excellent. Now, let’s do the identical factor—identical type of factor once more. Remaining easeful, open, unengaged with thought. For those who’re simply sitting there considering and considering, it’s okay—the considering can occur, simply disengage. It’s not essential. Come into expertise. On this case, discover how your physique feels. On this case, I’m utilizing the physique, the phrase physique to incorporate your head, face, and the remainder of your physique. The entire thing. Tune into the sentiments of the physique. And spot that inside physique sensation is that this openness, this oceanic spaciousness that’s timeless and boundless.
There’s an incredible stillness. A stillness so nonetheless that it could possibly by no means transfer or be moved. And towards the backdrop of this stillness, the sensation of the physique is arising. Emotions of respiratory, emotions of your legs and butt and your backbone, and so forth. Emotions of your jaw and your eyes, and simply the entire expertise of sitting there, the sensation of the physique. It’s all showing inside this stillness and openness. And the sensations of the physique transfer and alter, and develop and shrink, and pulse this fashion and transfer that means. However all of them are simply arising out of this stillness, dancing for some time within the stillness, after which dying again away into the stillness.
And once more, simply discover the miraculous, unfathomable nature of this expertise of physique sensation. It’s simply showing. It doesn’t come from wherever or go to wherever. It’s simply there. We’re not doing something to make it occur. And it doesn’t land wherever. Who is that this even showing to? Who’re all these physique sensations showing to? And these sights and sounds? Who’re they showing to? And for those who say, ‘me,’ then discover that ‘me’ is just a few extra emotions, sights, sounds, sensations, and perhaps ideas in the identical house.
Attempt to discover to whom the experiences are occurring. All you will discover are sensations arising in house and emotions transferring by way of timeless openness. All of it’s the look. What is aware of the looks? And spot the huge, spacious, stillness, silence and darkness that’s proper there. It’s proper inside each expertise, and round each expertise, and along with each expertise. You don’t should think about it or visualize it or something like that. It’s proper there. There’s no avoiding it.
Excellent. Now distinction that with the brightness and vividness and luminosity of expertise. The sound of the sound, and the sight of the sight, and the sensation of the sensation. The unimaginable miracle that every one that is arising constantly—vibrant, vivid, clear, expertise—with out us doing something in any respect. You don’t should make it come up. It’s simply occurring on a regular basis. A steady never-ending miracle. Timeless surprise.
Discover, too, the sentiments of being anyone are simply vibrant, vivid, luminous. Sounds of considering—psychological photographs, feeling feelings, physique sensations—every kind of stuff vividly showing, however by no means congealing into something. Even probably the most mundane, boring, quotidian second is nothing aside from Shiva/Shakti dancing and making magic.
Let go of pretending to be a bodymind and bear in mind your true being, your true nature. There’s this conscious, broad open thriller that may by no means be pinned down or labeled or outlined.
Good. Now discover that the silence and the stillness, and the spaciousness and the darkness, should not in any means separate from the sights, sounds, colours, textures, emotions, ideas, and being. They’re not separate. They co-arise. They coexist constantly. The stillness and the motion should not separate. They come up collectively. The sound and the silence should not separate.
Excellent. Now, into this spaciousness, into this openness, let’s permit the mani mantra to rearise once more—utterly unengaged with thought. Really feel the power of the mantra radiating from nothing and again to nothing. And, in between, blessing all beings all over the place with love and kindness and sweetness and pleasure.
[chanting]
Simply relaxation in ease and pure presence, doing nothing in any respect. Okay, let’s finish that there. I simply wish to maintain meditating, however let’s finish the meditation there for now. It’s simply getting good. Sit there for an additional half hour, however I mentioned an hour. So, attempt to persist with the schedule.
Have you ever ever seen a model new child? Like generally you may meet a model new individual? I bear in mind my son, they only handed him to me about one minute after he was born—lower than that. Right here you go. I took my shirt off and simply held him. And he was yelling lots, and crying and freaking out, however the sense of immense shock—what even is that this? Is simply so overwhelmingly obvious. After all, he was already awake within the womb—there’s sounds. However now it’s vibrant, and it’s loud, and it’s chilly, and it’s open—simply overwhelming expertise. And I simply bear in mind holding him, and identical to “What?” After which within the weeks and months following, you may simply see them trying round like, “What is that this?” Over and over. We don’t actually know when the sunshine activates. Does it activate someplace or is it at all times on? Or is there some second when it activates? However definitely it’s on. Even within the womb, the sunshine is on. However in that second of popping out, it’s fairly overwhelming. And I believe it stays fairly fairly intense for a very long time, as a result of you may simply see it—like, what is occurring?
After which little by little we get used to it, type of inured to the tsunami of luminosity and colour and brightness and sound and texture and contact—and all of the stuff coming in, to the purpose the place we type of simply, yeah, it’s Thursday evening. However actually, it’s by no means any much less stunning. It’s by no means any much less of a complete miracle. And it’s wild if you see a model new individual like that, simply how totally you get the sense of the overall preciousness of a being, the miraculous nature of a being, the overall purity and innocence of a being, is immediately completely apparent. And for those who stay delicate to that, you discover that that’s there in all people else on a regular basis. It’s not like that ever went away. It’s simply that we’re not paying consideration anymore. Identical to we’re not taking note of the vividness of expertise.
I simply get entangled in my Twitter feed, or no matter. However that luminous presence that’s primordially endlessly pure, and astonishing, and miraculous, is at all times there. You simply look—it’s proper there. It’s simply the place you’re inserting your consideration. And our society’s fairly good at instructing us to put our consideration on very silly shit. And now we’ve bought whole silly factories that don’t even want individuals to run them. And it’s simply countless silly shit to concentrate to.
However you don’t, at the least but, you don’t should. Possibly quickly they’ll make it so you must take note of it otherwise you get shocked or one thing, however for now, you don’t have to concentrate to it. That is the ultimate freedom—that you could discover the vividness of your individual expertise, and the miraculous nature of every being. It’s not even simply individuals—each being is like that. It’s like some comet or one thing. You may’t even imagine they’re that vibrant and that uncommon, and that it’s all occurring proper now in your individual expertise. It’s like you may sit right here and go, nicely, I’m on this cream coloured room with a bunch of idiots, or—right here it’s—it’s like a firework present constantly.
And most of the people are like, right here I’m on this room and I’m an fool, or I’m by some means a flawed souffle that collapsed within the oven by some means and might’t be repaired. And it’s like, no, it’s a luminous gentle present that by no means stops being good and pure. You may discover that if you wish to. It’s proper there. It’s not one thing you must fake or think about or no matter. It’s proper there. The miracle is never-ending. We consider miracles as being one thing that’s uncommon, but it surely’s steady and ubiquitous. However it doesn’t make it much less. It makes it extra of a miracle, not much less of a miracle.
The place is all this coming from? Who’s it even occurring to? Simply look.
So, we’ll change gears, and if you wish to converse, you may elevate your hand and ask a query, or discuss your expertise, or clarify why I’m mistaken—no matter you need.
Q: Once I’m on retreat, I’m capable of look, however right here it’s like trying into the solar. It’s simply an excessive amount of. It’s an excessive amount of. Like, it’s at all times an excessive amount of like that. Like, I’m afraid of trying. Like, how can I not be afraid?
MT: Nicely, I imply, who’s it an excessive amount of to? Who’s it that’s afraid? It’s like saying the solar is afraid of its personal gentle.
Q: Yeah. It’s a terror of the sunshine. It’s like making the whole lot be gone.
MT: Let all of it go. Let all of it be gone. It’ll come again. Nothing unhealthy will occur. You gained’t disappear or go blind or no matter. You’ll simply really feel good afterwards. So simply let go into that. Let the sunshine simply wipe the whole lot out.
Q: Thanks.
MT: Are you able to do it proper now?
Q: I don’t assume so. I believe I’d scream and cry and be like transferring in very unusual methods.
MT: All of which is ok, however all of that’s resistance. Simply let go. Okay?
There’s an uncommon stage of stillness and silence on the market this night, which is nice. Okay, we’ll do our silent meditation then. And so usually we simply do 5 minutes, however now we’re going to do—as punishment [laughter]—12 minutes. That is simply silent meditation. Be happy to flee for those who don’t wish to sit.
[bell ringing]
Thanks all people for popping out to meditate with me tonight.. I’ll see you subsequent week. Identical time, identical place. Thanks all people.
Yeah.
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