I not too long ago shared one in all my most susceptible tales on the Empowering Girls and Ladies to Thrive Summit on the United Nations about suicide prevention, to assist finish the stigma of suicidal ideas and promote extra loving compassion and acceptance.
This transformational occasion was supporting Sustainable Developmental Purpose #5: “to realize gender equality and empower all ladies and women.”
The occasion deliberately featured ladies audio system from completely different walks of life, representing various backgrounds, ethnicities, ages, and skills, with the widespread objective of providing options to international points ladies and women face.
I labored as a speaker coach and story strategist with every speaker at this summit, guiding them to deal with the transformation they wished to encourage and ignite within the viewers.
Every speaker used my S.T.O.R.Y. System for Transformational Storytelling, an impressed approach I’ve been utilizing for nearly 20 years in my very own storytelling and my speaker and writer teaching applications, and that I educate at conferences, firms, and organizations that wish to make a distinction and create significant change.
Ben Dotsei Malor, Chief Editor on the UN Information, addressed us as a visitor of honor, and attendees got here from a number of states in the US and completely different international locations, together with Panama, Nigeria, Ghana, England, and Canada.
As an immigrant and naturalized citizen of the US, it was humbling to be honored with The Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award, accompanied by an official letter from the workplace of The President of the US, a certificates, pin, and medallion.
I’m so grateful to be acknowledged for my efforts in fulfilling my mission to assist leaders harness the facility of storytelling to empower others to interrupt cycles, discover peace, and really feel complete — at properties, workplaces, and the world. Storytelling performs an integral half in suicide prevention.
After the occasion, all of the audio system and the President’s Volunteer Service Award honorees had been featured on a billboard in Instances Sq..
Now I’m going to share the transcript of my United Nations speech about suicide prevention with you. My speak was designed to assist anybody who has struggled or is at present scuffling with suicidal ideas, similar to I’ve.
Suicide is everybody’s drawback and we are able to all interact in prevention efforts by studying to change into a SAFE individual to so a lot of these round us who’re struggling in silence.
My United Nations Speech Transcript
I’m finished.
I can’t do that anymore.
That is simply an excessive amount of.
What’s the purpose?
Everybody’s higher off with out me.
I’m higher off useless.
I used to be mendacity in mattress sleepless, wanting up on the rusted tin ceiling, when these ideas confirmed up uninvited. I used to be solely 5 years outdated. They usually’ve by no means left me – all the time insisting that I’m a dwelling mistake making errors.
Ultimately, these ideas grew to become lively, after I began to go searching and fantasize about artistic ways in which would get the job finished.
The primary time I acted on these ideas, I used to be 13.
Mendacity within the hospital room, the primary individual I noticed after I got here again to consciousness mentioned to me:
“Oh you’re alive…you may’t even do that proper.”
Now, I do know right here on the United Nations, I’m surrounded by individuals who intention to empower others to thrive. You’re most likely considering – I might by no means say such hurtful phrases to somebody who’s in a lot ache.
I consider you.
And but … Most individuals don’t know what to say… so that they’d quite not speak about it…
For instance, after I inform others I’m a most cancers survivor, their faces gentle up. They ask follow-up questions and nearly soar for pleasure.
In distinction, after I share I’m a multiple-time suicide survivor, there’s shock … and silence… adopted up by a change of topic.
Or they use default – and lethal- phrases like:
- Don’t surrender
- It would get higher
- Or one thing alongside the traces of “be grateful,” “rely your blessings,” “select pleasure,” or “have a look at the brighter aspect of life…”
What I’ve realized by means of dwelling over 4 a long time with each passive and lively suicidal ideas as my most loyal companions is that positivity is gas to the stigma of suicidality.
It makes us incorrect for one thing that isn’t our fault and since what others suggest or prescribe doesn’t work for us, it reinforces the sensation that we’re damaged and that we’re alone.
Feeling unable to “positively suppose it or pray it away” provides to our sense of defeat.
That’s why – for years- I lived trapped in my shame-induced solitary confinement,– generally obsessively in search of a remedy, generally desperately in search of a weapon.
Suicide is the second main explanation for loss of life for youngsters, adolescents, and younger adults worldwide. It’s pressing, it’s widespread, it may occur to anybody – it’s a worldwide human issue- and it’s everybody’s drawback…
One individual dies by suicide each 40 seconds – and plenty of suicides are preventable.
As a result of proof proves that trauma doesn’t come from experiencing adversity, however from feeling alone in our harm.
In my analysis, I’ve confirmed what I discovered in my lived experiences: The way in which we speak about suicide makes it troublesome to succeed in out for assist.
The phrases we use matter. And selecting respectful language round suicide helps us change into secure folks.
Repeat after me: SAFE folks SAVE folks.
By studying to be a secure individual, we are able to take away the stigma round suicidal ideas, lower the suicide fee, and assist folks keep alive, as a result of they now not really feel like they need to endure in secret.
I’m sharing 3 simple tips to decriminalize and destigmatize the phrase suicide and the expertise of suicide:
- Let’s keep away from the phrase commit. We aren’t criminals or sinners – we’re lonely, afraid, and feeling like suicide is essentially the most viable answer to seemingly unsolvable issues and insufferable ache.
- Let’s ban the phrase try: Staying alive shouldn’t be a failure, and let’s not ever suggest that suicide is successful.
- Let’s cease speaking about taking a life or killing oneself: the insinuations that we’re not considering of others or that we don’t worth our lives are ignorant, inaccurate, and even insensitive.
Some useful alternate options will be:
- loss of life by suicide
- suicide contemplation
- and searching for to finish one’s ache.
As a speaker, advocate, and writer, I encourage folks to make use of my acronym SAVE to keep away from toxic positivity when somebody shares their ache:
S– Keep calm
A– Attentively hear
V– Validate their expertise
E– Categorical gratitude for his or her vulnerability
You don’t need to be a psychological well being professional to make a distinction. Holding area alone will be life-saving. You will be with somebody by means of their proverbial bridge till skilled assist comes. Saying the suitable phrases might help them search and entry the suitable instruments, assets, and security plans.
My invitation to you is: Subsequent time some shares they’re going by means of a tough time, don’t be optimistic, be current.
Make certain they get a loud blaring message from you: “Your ache is legitimate, and it issues to me. You aren’t alone.” This protects lives – as a result of SAFE folks SAVE folks.
And to those that, like me, face these ideas someday at a time, I share my agency witness … it’s okay to bounce with loss of life, simply be sure to take the lead. Blessings!
I used to be so moved by the feedback I obtained from the viewers whereas talking on the occasion and after.
Listed here are some that stood out to me and that had been revealed on shops like ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, the CW, and Human Rights Right this moment, in addition to different distinguished worldwide information shops throughout Asia, Africa, and Latin America, together with my beloved homeland, the Dominican Republic:
“I used to be hospitalized as soon as resulting from suicidal ideation and dangerous conduct 17 years in the past and I’m deeply into the message Dr. Fernández conveyed at the moment. Very highly effective phrases.”
“Dr. Elayna’s speech was a couple of robust topic going through so many members of society. Her private expertise was shared with susceptible honesty.”
“Elayna presents highly effective recommendation on coping with these considering suicide. Highly effective!”
“WOW! I’m grateful to Dr. Elayna for serving to folks discover ways to assist people who find themselves struggling. I like that she shared easy tips to de-stigmatize suicide. Sage phrases!!!”
“Dr. Fernández’s speak made me really feel a lot disappointment and in addition a lot hope. I’ve a number of family and friends members who battle with suicidal ideas and her speak helped me see that there are methods I might help them with out inflicting extra ache which I used to be afraid of doing. Her speak gave simple suggestions and issues to do to assist our family members really feel supported throughout these scary occasions.”
“Her speech made me really feel seen and understood. Addressing the methods we might help these scuffling with these ideas by means of Elayna’s ideas may very well be life-changing. Unforgettable!”
“Dr. Elayna Fernández is a victorious lady championing the best way for folks to know stigmas related with suicide, provides folks permission to now not endure in silence, and teaches us methods to be a secure and supporting individual. She is a dwelling instance for us all.”
“Dr. Elayna Fernandez’s speech was not solely inspiring but additionally deeply informative. Via her steerage on the proper strategies of helping others, she empowered us to change into SAFE people and actively work in direction of saving lives.”
“Elayna’s speak stopped me in my tracks and made me replicate deeply on a previous dialog with a good friend who wanted a secure individual to open up to. With the most effective of intentions, I spotted I wasn’t outfitted to be that individual then, however now I can and will probably be. Elayna teaches us methods to change into that secure individual, empowering us to assist these grappling with suicidal ideas. Elayna’s message is an important name to motion, exhibiting us how we are able to actually make a distinction in somebody’s life.”
“Elayna has the distinctive potential to succeed in folks’s souls whereas delivering sensible tricks to change their lives. Affirming these of us who are suffering the illness of suicidal considering is important on the planet at the moment to tell us we’re not alone.”
“Dr. Elayna’s heartfelt matter moved me to tears. I felt knowledgeable, convicted, and empowered to be the SAFE individual she talks about. Sadly, suicide is a worldwide drawback and we can not afford to stay uninformed.”
“Her statements are eye-opening and her speak teaches us methods to assist people who find themselves hurting. They’re all over the place and could also be nearer than you suppose.”
“Dr. Elayna Fernandez’s highly effective speech on suicide prevention not solely highlighted the significance of being a SAFE individual but additionally impressed us to take motion and probably save lives.”
“I respect her vulnerability and openness to handle the customarily missed and stigmatized challenge of suicide. She educates her viewers on methods to be a secure individual and offers tips for supportive communication, highlighting how we are able to all play a task in stopping suicide and supporting those that are struggling.”
I’m deeply grateful for the chance to convey hope to folks all around the world by means of my books, talks, and coaching applications, and to assist those that wish to do the identical in turning into transformational storytellers.
What resonated most with you about my speak? To view the remainder of the talks, go to the Transformational Storytellers channel on YouTube, and to take step one in turning into a Transformational Storyteller, go to TransformationalStorytellers.com
Founding father of the Optimistic MOM® and creator of the S.T.O.R.Y. System: a blueprint to craft and share highly effective tales that may remodel your outcomes and assist others do the identical. Dr. Elayna Fernández is a single mother of 4, an award-winning Storyteller, Story Strategist, and Scholar of Ache. She’s a bestselling writer, internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and 5x TEDx speaker. She has spoken on the United Nations, obtained the President’s Volunteer Lifetime Achievement Award, and was chosen as one of many High Impactful Leaders and a Lady of Affect by SUCCESS Journal. Join with Elayna at thepositivemom.com/ef and comply with @thepositivemom. To obtain a present from Elayna, click on HERE.
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