Nollywood present life in vibrant colours and daring scenes. They inform tales of affection, work, and massive desires. However African adulting? Ah-ahn! That’s the true life blockbuster. On this article, we’ll have a look at Nollywood vs. actuality: Hilarious quotes about adulting in Africa.
A good friend as soon as joked, “In Nollywood, a kiss fixes all the things. In actual life, a kiss might not cease the payments.” This easy quote makes us snort as a result of it’s true. All of us face small struggles that motion pictures ignore. There may be greater than love on our minds. There are payments, chores, and infinite duties.
As we have a good time AMVCA11, we dey grateful to all of the actors, administrators, and storytellers wey dey encourage us for large display. However make we discuss fact—African adulting na the actual Oscar-worthy drama! From generator wahala to landlord threats, listed below are 10 methods Nollywood fantasy conflict with our on a regular basis hustle. Get pleasure from dis assortment… and no overlook to snort!
Nollywood vs. Actuality: Hilarious Quotes About Adulting in Africa
1. Nollywood Villain: “I’ll destroy your life!”
Actuality: “Dis generator go destroy my life.”
In Nollywood, unhealthy Uncle rain curses whereas clutching strolling sticks, you will notice them planning on learn how to destroy somebody’s life. In actual life, the true villain is your generator. That cussed “I-better-pass-my-neighbor” generator that coughs, sputters, and cease mid method when you find yourself attempting “to do the do” or when you find yourself watching your favourite Film on African Magic.
As an illustration, my very own generator breakdown in the course of the Nigeria – Rwanda match, so tey, I come miss Victor Oshimen’s Second objective. In actuality, you’re not combating a depraved uncle—you’re combating gas costs, NEPA, and the urge to scream, “Na who do dis generator abeg?!”
Humorous Repair:
No gentle? No wahala! Seize your cellphone torch and yell, “Survival Island: Lagos Version loading… abeg, who get gas?” Gentle match come, if one neighbor decides to borrow you one other generator . You can too dance to Davido and Pheelz music “Electrical energy!” at the hours of darkness utilizing the Dance steps of Sound of Salem – We will likely be many, hopefully it will possibly encourage NEPA to recollect your space.
Bear in mind: Preserve an influence financial institution like your life is dependent upon it. As a result of… it does.
2. Nollywood Lover: “I’ll cross the oceans to be with you!”
Actuality: “I am going cross three Lagos visitors jams to see you… if my gas tank no enter coma.” However what in the event you no come get Motor nko? Your crush texts, “Bae, you continue to dey come?” when you’re caught in a go-slow for over two hours. As you attempt to response to his message your love language kicks in, then you definitely kind “Abeg, ship me airtime. Knowledge don end.”
Humorous Repair: Ship a voice be aware: “My love na like pure water—e dey very important. However dis visitors dey vitaler. Look forward to me, I dey come!” Add a crying-laughing emoji.
Bear in mind Date somebody that has a generator. “Gentle no dey, however we match nonetheless love small!” This love could be your cellphone charging station.
3. Nollywood Hero: “I’ll save the household fortune!”
Actuality: “I’ll save sufficient to purchase information and gas.”
Nollywood hero go discover buried money for yard. You? You dey examine financial institution app each 10 minutes. Your “fortune” na when GTB ship you “Completely happy Birthday” message or following over 100 punters on X with simply 100 naira in your account hoping to win 100 Million with simply 10 naira on Sportybet.
Humorous Repair: Discover ₦200 on your pocket? Dance! “Who be Dangote? Na me! Small cash dey run am!”
Bear in mind: Cover cash inside Bible. Even satan no go match contact am
4. Nollywood Witch Physician: “The spirits are indignant!”
Actuality: “My landlord dey vex.”
Most Nollywood motion pictures blames each downside on vengeful ancestors. Actual life? Your landlord’s textual content—“The place is my hire?”—is scarier than any juju. You’re not sacrificing a goat; you’re sacrificing your weekend plans to work extra time. Chai! if work no come dey nko?
Humorous Repair: Textual content again: “The ancestors mentioned you’ll get it… subsequent week.” Then hustle like your hire is dependent upon it.
Bear in mind: Study to greet landlord in his language. “E kaaro, sir!” works magic.
5. Nollywood Mom: “You’ve disgraced this household!”
Actuality: “You’ve disgraced this household by sending Hey’ as a substitute of ‘Good night, ma’ to your Aunty
Nollywood mamas drag their children for falling in love with the “unsuitable” particular person. Actual African mothers? They’re mad at you for not greeting their greatest good friend’s cousin’s neighbor. Your crime? “Why are you typing ‘Hey’ as a substitute of ‘Good night, ma’?”
Humorous Repair: Flood the household WhatsApp group with prayers. “God, bless Aunty Nkechi’s new wig!” Immediate forgiveness.
Bear in mind: Save a “Good morning, ma” template. Copy-paste each day.
6. Nollywood Plot Twist: “I’m your long-lost brother!”
Actuality: “Your long-lost brother wants ₦10k urgently.”
Nollywood: Secret siblings arrive with an excessive amount of cash for the household. Actuality: Cousin wey you no see since 2002 dey your DM: “Hello bro, please i would like 10k urgently. God bless you.”
Humorous Repair: Reply: “My account dey cough blood. Let’s pray!”
Bear in mind: Grasp the artwork of “My wage no enter” with a crying emoji.
7. Nollywood Knowledge: “A tree can’t make a forest.”
Actuality: “One particular person no match pay all payments”
Nollywood proverb sound like management lecturers. Actual life? Your roommate shout: “Who use detergent final?” You reply: “If tree no be forest, why you dey ask me?”
Humorous Repair: Name household assembly: “Abeg, who go contribute for detergent? Abi we go wash with tears?”
Bear in mind: Label your meals. “Contact my Indomie, lose your future.”
8. Nollywood Ending: “And so they lived fortunately ever after.”
Actuality: “And so they lived… sooner or later at a time.”
Nollywood finish with wedding ceremony and dancing. Actual life? You dey hustle to pay payments, household and peer stress dey knock on the door; in the event you no marry, you dey hustle to search out who go marry you.
Humorous Repair: Rejoice small wins! Should you survived a day with out NEPA taking gentle? Pop chin-chin and shout, “Na me be the principle character!”
Bear in mind: Your “fortunately ever after” is waking up with out a mosquito chew.
9. Nollywood Job Supply: “You’re employed as CEO tomorrow!”
Actuality: “You don submit CV for over 100 firms… no response.”
Nollywood hero dey get CEO job with no expertise. You? You dey look forward to “We’ll get again to you” since 2019.
Humorous Repair: Replace LinkedIn bio: “World’s Greatest Pending CEO.”
Bear in mind: Study to code… or be taught to hope. Both method payments have to be paid.
10. Nollywood Ghost: “I’ll hang-out you endlessly!”
Actuality: “Your boss go hang-out you for weekend.”
Nollywood ghost dey wail for window. Actual ghost? Your Oga match name you by 11am: “Ship me that report now now!”
Humorous Repair: Reply: “Sir, my laptop computer battery is useless. I am going ship am when gentle comes!”
Bear in mind: Set your WhatsApp Final Seen to 2014
Ultimate ideas on Nollywood vs. Actuality: Hilarious Quotes About Adulting in Africa
Adulting for Africa no be beans—Nollywood go present you castles, however actuality go remind you say “hire dey come. To our Nollywood stars: Thanks for all of the laughers. To our actuality: We go survive, and to you, studying dis? You’re the actual MVP. Whether or not you dey hustle for Lagos, Nairobi, or Accra, keep in mind: Daily you survive na your personal AMVCA award. “Greatest Actor in ‘Adulting’ Class… na you win am!”
Earlier than I overlook, abeg go cost your cellphone, earlier than NEPA take their gentle, since you match want DSTV Stream to take watch that your favourite present.
