I’ve been down some deep rabbit holes over the previous few years.
After I discover one thing that sparks my curiosity, I change into obsessive about studying every part I can about it.
I’ve found issues like astrology, human design, David Kibbe’s type system, coloration evaluation, and Ikigai, all of which have led me to a deeper understanding of myself and my private preferences.
I’ve had a-ha seconds after studying that my astrology placements can clarify my love for writing or that outsized, stylish garments don’t work on me as a result of I’m a Comfortable Traditional in Kibbe’s type system.
These methods and labels could be useful as a result of they validate and ensure what we already find out about ourselves. They assist us title complicated ideas and supply parameters that scale back evaluation paralysis.
However there’s one drawback.
My curiosity in these methods and persona assessments begins as excited curiosity after which rapidly slips into an all-consuming have to get every part ‘proper.’ It’s straightforward for an curiosity to change into an obsession (and due to Reddit, I do know I’m not the one one).
So are these methods really useful in the event that they trigger us to hyperfocus on making the ‘greatest’ or ‘proper’ determination?
As we speak I’m sharing what I’ve discovered from these methods, how we discover which means by means of them, and why I actually suppose we prefer to label ourselves.
The rise of packing containers and labels
Let’s begin by speaking about totally different methods and labels so that you perceive what I’m referring to.
Forewarning: after studying this, chances are you’ll fall into a few of your individual rabbit holes.
Kibbe Physique Varieties
Launched within the Eighties, David Kibbe’s type system relies on 13 picture identities. These identities aren’t associated to the standard fruit physique shapes (apple, pear, and so on.) however fairly how proportionate you look, whether or not you’re extra angular or rounded, and the way tall or brief you appear.
The concept is to decorate in a means that enhances your pure options. Maybe you’ve at all times struggled to make clothes traits work, however you couldn’t work out why. Your Kibbe physique kind would possibly offer you some clues.
You may attempt to determine which sort you’re utilizing on-line quizzes, however solely David Kibbe himself can provide an correct typing. Due to this exclusivity, individuals really feel they haven’t any alternative however to find out their very own kind, and there are subreddits to assist individuals determine it out.
It’s all good enjoyable if you’re getting began, however it might rapidly change into irritating if you don’t fall neatly into one class or get caught making an attempt to comply with the rules.
Colour Evaluation
Colour evaluation (aka discovering your “greatest colours”) is one other system from the 80s that’s come again in full power. Are you a winter, summer season, spring, or autumn? Are you heat or cool, vibrant or muted, mild or deep?
They are saying understanding your colours will assist you to look harmonious in your garments, and also you gained’t need to put on as a lot make-up as a result of the colours will do the be just right for you (the truth that that is primarily focused at ladies enhancing their appears is a subject for an additional time).
The issue is that some individuals fall neatly into these seasons and others don’t. I’m embarrassed to confess that I’ve thrown my cash at 5 totally different digital coloration analysts solely to have all of them inform me I’m in numerous seasons.
I can hear you saying, “Simply put on the colours you want!” Sadly, my mind can’t appear to let me do this now that I find out about coloration evaluation. The perfectionist in me desires an identical wardrobe.
Astrology
Astrology is a system that helps us perceive ourselves and others by means of the motion of the planets. Maybe it’s a generational factor or simply the bubble I’m in, however astrology appears much less taboo right this moment than it was up to now.
Astrology can provide you a greater understanding of who you’re and assist you to interpret your present section of life. You could know you’re a Leo, however are you aware the place the moon was if you had been born and the way which will have an effect on your emotional wants? Or how about the place Mars at the moment is and the way which will have an effect on your motivation ranges?
Due to its potential to interpret future occasions, the quote goes: “Millionaires don’t have astrologers; billionaires do.”
Whereas astrology could be useful if you know the way to make use of it, utilizing it within the improper means can create unfavourable stereotypes and generalizations.
Human Design
There’s one other system associated to astrology known as Human Design which might help you perceive learn how to reside your every day life with ease.
Relying in your kind, you’ll be able to decide whether or not the perfect use of your vitality is to be an initiator of latest concepts (Manifestors), to be a workhorse and get issues carried out (Turbines), to comply with your many pursuits (Manifesting Generator), to be a information to others (Projectors), or to easily observe the world and replicate again what you be taught (Reflectors).
This one opened my eyes to the concept our trendy world tells everybody they should be initiators and workhorses, but many individuals usually are not designed to make use of their vitality that means (maybe that is one cause why burnout and persistent fatigue are so prevalent right this moment).
Why we put ourselves in packing containers
Perhaps you’ve gone down the identical rabbit holes as I’ve, or maybe these methods have by no means piqued your curiosity.
Both means, we people prefer to put individuals into packing containers even after we say we don’t.
The query I discover myself asking is: What am I REALLY searching for to know about myself by means of these methods?
For me, the enchantment is a set of parameters which have the potential to make my life simpler.
If I do know that I’m a sure physique kind within the Kibbe system and my coloration season is True Autumn, possibly I’ll waste much less cash on garments that don’t go well with me.
If I do know that I’m an INFJ within the Myers-Briggs Kind Indicator, I can really feel higher about my want for alone time.
Maybe all of that is to say that I’m a perfectionist who desires a algorithm to comply with as a result of I feel that can make my life simpler.
However is searching for an out of doors system as an inner guidebook the way in which to go?
In an version of Oliver Burkeman’s publication titled ‘Programs vs. life’, he writes:
Many people yearn to discover a system or algorithm or life philosophy that might one way or the other reside life for us, on our behalf, so that when we’d pledged allegiance to the rulebook, we wouldn’t need to face the messiness and discomfort of really exhibiting up, second after second.
If I actually dig deep, I need these methods to present me confidence in myself once I really feel unworthy.
Perhaps if I comply with the foundations and pointers completely, I gained’t need to take care of any discomfort that makes me really feel self-conscious.
However life doesn’t work that means.
Turning into too reliant on an out of doors algorithm means we lose our private preferences within the seek for what’s proper or excellent.
The hunt for self-understanding shouldn’t change into a pursuit of perfection.
Are these methods pointless?
So, if we will’t depend on these packing containers and methods to outline who we’re, does that imply they’re utterly pointless?
I don’t suppose so. In spite of everything, they might help us make sense of the world and discover which means in summary methods.
It’s completely comprehensible to need a sense of which means in life since nobody desires to waste their time and vitality. However trying to find the proper system and making an attempt to comply with it to a T would possibly finish in wasted time and vitality anyway.
A part of the enjoyable of life is seeing what involves us after we’re not pushing, not trying to find solutions, and never making an attempt to make issues excellent. All you need to do is ‘be’ – you’ll be you both means.
In the long run, making an attempt to depend on any system aside from your individual internal understanding will lead you additional away from what you need and want.
Let your self include multitudes
Figuring out your persona traits or discovering your excellent colours isn’t essentially going to alter your life or provide the confidence you search.
There’s nothing improper with utilizing these sorts of methods and labels; you simply need to method them from a spot of curiosity fairly than perfection. In the event that they’re not enjoyable anymore, it might be time to let go.
When you really wish to really feel assured in your self, settle for which you could be a number of issues without delay. Be okay with being undefinable. Create your individual pointers for all times as an alternative.
I write this as a message to you and to myself. It’s what I want to listen to to cease getting so caught up within the particulars.
