One of many largest obstacles to extra love and potentialities in our lives is how a lot, how usually and the way deeply we “numb out” when life and {our relationships} overwhelm us and get to be an excessive amount of.
Most individuals don’t understand it however we ALL have numerous methods for coping with what we label “good” or “unhealthy” in our lives.
We will get sucked into believing ideas about how life ought to or shouldn’t be, how “they” ought to or shouldn’t be and what must occur so as to be OK.
So so as to free ourselves from the ache we affiliate with the truth of life…
We eat, we drink, we pop one thing to make us really feel calmer (or extra alive)…
-We gossip
-We get offended
-We get busy
-We get pushy
-We give in
-We withhold
-We begin a combat
-We retreat
-We watch Tik ToK or Fb movies
-We store
-And one million different issues to (in some circumstances) really feel higher and (in different circumstances) to not really feel in any respect.
We’ll do something to make ourselves really feel higher, really feel extra alive, transfer cherished, extra assured, extra no matter.
If you wish to see how your specific protection mechanisms for feeling “good” and avoiding feeling “unhealthy” play out…
Simply take a fast have a look at your personal life, particularly when one thing upsetting occurs.
What do you do to calm your self and keep away from feeling?
So the query is…
Why would you need to really feel anyway?
Can’t you simply bypass all that feeling stuff and go straight to what would make you happier and really feel higher?
It’s as a result of emotions are the symptoms of what’s happening inside us and the ideas we’re making actual.
And if we keep away from it, we push these emotions down they usually at all times come out later in methods we don’t need and may injury {our relationships}.
For example…
Valerie invited Rob over for what she hoped with be a pleasant romantic night with him.
The entire night went sideways fast and she or he was able to kick him out when he advised her that her large aquarium with dozens of tropical fish in it that she cherished …
Was like a clean TV display screen.
She was completely offended and couldn’t consider he would say something so unkind.
A short time later, Rob left and so as to ease her ache and disappointment of what she had hoped would occur that night…
Valerie ate each single one of many CBD cookies she had available to make herself really feel higher.
It did whereas she was consuming them however then she fell right into a funk that precipitated an argument when her sister known as later that night to learn the way her date had gone.
She didn’t need to argue together with her sister however she had been holding in her anger at Rob’s remark and it simply got here out with out her being conscious.
After we numb out and don’t acknowledge how we actually really feel, even to ourselves…
We get caught in methods we don’t even understand and we will’t let in love.
We will’t see past our beliefs and expectations that one thing else is perhaps true.
We will’t see potentialities.
In Valerie’s case, if she opened to seeing past her story that he hated her fish as a substitute of not acknowledging it, she may turn out to be curious as to what he meant when he stated her aquarium was like a clean TV display screen.
As a substitute of numbing out and consuming her CBD cookies, she may have requested him a easy query–“Inform me extra about that”
The tales we make up and make actual can create the numbness and ache we really feel however they don’t need to.
