91 Humorous Birthday Quotes for Mates with Hilarious Humor That Will Make You Snicker

If you wish to make an upcoming birthday a enjoyable and lighthearted celebration then in the present day’s submit will assist you out.

In it I wish to share 91 of the wittiest and most humorous birthday quotes about youth, getting older and life.

Use one or a few them in a card, in a textual content or a social media submit on for instance Instagram.

Or just use considered one of them in your birthday speech to your pal, sister, brother, coworker or whoever you might be celebrating to make them giggle and make their special occasion much more enjoyable.

Humorous Birthday Quotes for Mates (and Your Finest Pal)

“You’re solely younger as soon as, however you possibly can keep immature indefinitely.”
– Ogden Nash

“I imagine you forgot my birthday current final yr, so now I’m returning the favor. Blissful Birthday!”
– Unknown

“Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and someone’s drunk within the kitchen.”
– Jim Gaffigan

“You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years expertise.”
– Unknown

“Trying fifty is nice – when you’re sixty.”
– Joan Rivers

“Inside each older individual is a youthful individual – questioning what the hell occurred.”
– Jennifer Yane

“Life is a reasonably good play with a badly written third act.”
– Truman Capote

“The older you get, the higher you get. Except you’re a banana.”
– Betty White

“The key of staying younger is to dwell truthfully, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball

“Age is strictly a case of thoughts over matter. In case you don’t thoughts, it doesn’t matter.”
– Jack Benny

“Birthdays are nature’s means of telling us to eat extra cake.”
– Unknown

“A pal by no means defends a husband who will get his spouse an electrical skillet for her birthday.”
– Erma Bombeck

“Age is just not necessary until you’re a cheese.”
– Helen Hayes

“I’m at an age when my again goes out greater than I do.”
– Phyllis Diller

“I imagine in loyalty. When a lady reaches an age she likes, she ought to keep it up.”
– Eva Gabor

“My grandmother began strolling 5 miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know the place the hell she is.”
– Ellen DeGeneres

“Finally you attain a degree if you cease mendacity about your age and begin bragging about it.”
– Will Rogers

“The primary hundred years are the toughest.”
– Wilson Mizner

“When a person has a birthday, he takes a time off. However when my spouse has a birthday, she takes a yr or two off.”
– Joan Rivers

“From delivery to age 18, a woman wants good dad and mom. From 18 to 35, she wants attractiveness. From 35 to 55, she wants character. From 55 on, she wants good money.”
– Sophie Tucker

Brief and Humorous Birthday Quotes on Getting Older

“ you’re getting outdated when the candles price greater than the cake.”
– Bob Hope

“Age is a matter of thoughts over matter. In case you don’t thoughts, it doesn’t matter.”
– Mark Twain

“You’re in mint situation for a classic mannequin. Blissful Birthday!”
– Catherine Pulsifer

“Outdated age is like every part else. To make successful of it, you’ve received to start out younger.”
– Fred Astaire

“Don’t fear about avoiding temptation. As you get older, it should keep away from you.”
– Joey Adams

“A diplomat is a person who at all times remembers a lady’s birthday however by no means remembers her age.”
– Robert Frost

“I’ll by no means be an outdated man. To me, outdated age is at all times 15 years older than I’m.”
– Francis Bacon

“Simply bear in mind, when you’re over the hill you start to select up velocity.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer

“I used to be introduced as much as respect my elders, so now I don’t need to respect anyone.”
– George Burns

“There may be nonetheless no treatment for the widespread birthday.”
– John Glenn

“ you’ve aged if you learn occasions you lived in a historical past guide.”
– Will Ferrell

“Age is a quantity and mine is unlisted.”
– Unknown

“Rising outdated is obligatory; rising up is non-obligatory.”
– Chili Davis

“ you’re getting outdated if you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See when you can blow this out.’”
– Jerry Seinfeld

“Center age is if you nonetheless imagine you’ll really feel higher within the morning.”
– Bob Hope

“As you become older, three issues occur. The primary is your reminiscence goes, and I can’t bear in mind the opposite two.”
– Norman Knowledge

“ you’re getting outdated when every part hurts. And what doesn’t harm doesn’t work.”
– Hy Gardner

“You’re solely younger as soon as, however you could be immature for a lifetime.”
– John Grier

“All the things that goes up should come down. However there comes a time when not every part that’s down can come up.”
– George Burns

“We don’t develop outdated. After we stop to develop, we turn into outdated.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Humorous Birthday Quotes for Girls on Growing old Gracefully

“Like many ladies my age, I’m 28 years outdated.”
– Mary Schmich

“Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.”
– Anna Magnani

“I don’t want you to remind me of my age. I’ve a bladder to do this for me.”
– Stephen Fry

“At all times be good to your youngsters as a result of they’re those who will select your relaxation dwelling.”
– Phyllis Diller

“I don’t plan to develop outdated gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts till my ears meet.”
– Rita Rudner

“ you’ve reached center age if you’re cautioned to decelerate by your physician, as an alternative of by the police.”
– Joan Rivers

“A great rule to recollect for all times is that with regards to cosmetic surgery and sushi, by no means be attracted by a discount.”
– Graham Norton

“Individuals say, ‘The way you keep trying so younger?’ I say, nicely, good lighting, good medical doctors, and good make-up.”
– Dolly Parton

“My face carries all my reminiscences. Why would I erase them?”
– Diane von Furstenberg

“Growing old appears to be the one accessible technique to dwell an extended life.”
– Kitty O’Neill Collins
“I’ve received so many wrinkles; I needs to be sponsored by a prune firm!”
– Unknown

“Wrinkles ought to merely point out the place the grins have been.”
– Mark Twain

“Hear. I want I may let you know it will get higher. However, it doesn’t get higher. You get higher.”
– Joan Rivers

“Growing old gracefully means being versatile, being open, permitting change, having fun with change, and loving your self.”
– Wendy Whelan

Humorous Birthday Quotes for Males on the Inevitable Modifications in Life

“A stockbroker urged me to purchase a inventory that may triple its worth yearly. I instructed him, ‘At my age, I don’t even purchase inexperienced bananas.’”
– Claude Pepper

“A person has reached center age when he’s warned to decelerate by his physician as an alternative of the police.”
– Henry Youngman

“After I was a boy the Useless Sea was solely sick.”
– George Burns

“Center age is when your broad thoughts and slender waist start to vary locations.”
– E. Joseph Cossman

“You’re solely as outdated as the lady you’re feeling.”
– Groucho Marx

“Anybody could be assured with a full head of hair. However a assured bald man – there’s your diamond within the tough.”
– Larry David

“In center age, the soul needs to be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage.”
– John Andrew Holmes

“Center age is the awkward interval when Father Time begins catching up with Mom Nature.”
– Harold Coffin

“I’m very happy to be right here. Let’s face it, at my age, I’m very happy to be wherever.”
– George Burns

“Center age is if you’re confronted with two temptations and also you select the one that can get you dwelling by 9 o’clock.”
– Ronald Reagan

“I imply, I’m not a child anymore. I may go tomorrow. And I hope I’m going tomorrow. I haven’t gone in the present day but.”
– Rodney Dangerfield

“Life’s a brief journey. You’ll discover out.”
– Rodney Dangerfield

“I’ve been in remedy. I do know sufficient about myself now to know that I actually don’t must know anymore.”
– Larry David

“Center age is if you’ve met so many individuals that each new individual you meet reminds you of another person.”
– Ogden Nash

“The one technique to preserve your well being is to eat what you don’t need, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d reasonably not.”
– Mark Twain

“Blissful Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who’s good, humorous, and handsome, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all of your greatest qualities.”
– Good/Good Youngster

“Outdated age is if you resent the swimsuit situation of Sports activities Illustrated as a result of there are fewer articles to learn.”
– George Burns

“I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius.”
– George Carlin

Humorous Birthday Quotes for Coworkers

“Why is a birthday cake the one meals you possibly can blow on and spit on, and everyone rushes to get a chunk?”
– Bobby Kelton

“Yearly on my birthday, I begin a brand new playlist titled after my present age so I can preserve observe of my favourite songs of the yr as a kind of musical diary as a result of I’m a teenage lady.”
– Chris Hardwick

“Due to fashionable medical advances equivalent to antibiotics, nasal spray, and Weight-reduction plan Coke, it has turn into routine for individuals within the civilized world to cross the age of 40, generally greater than as soon as.”
– Dave Barry

“True terror is to get up one morning and uncover that your highschool class is operating the nation.”
– Kurt Vonnegut

“The aim of life is to take every part that made you bizarre as a child and get individuals to pay you cash for it if you’re older.”
– David Freeman

“ you’re getting outdated when all of the names in your black guide have M.D. after them.”
– Harrison Ford

“We may actually gradual the getting older course of down if it needed to work its means by Congress.”
– Will Rogers

“At my age, flowers scare me.”
– George Burns

“Combating getting older is just like the Struggle on Medication. It’s costly, does extra hurt than good, and has been confirmed to by no means finish.”
– Amy Poehler

“The getting older course of is just not gradual or mild. It rushes up, pushes you over, and runs off laughing.”
– John Mortimer

“I used to be fascinated about how individuals appear to learn the Bible much more as they become older, after which it dawned on me – they’re cramming for his or her last examination.”
– George Carlin

“Outdated age comes at a nasty time.”
– San Banducci

“Don’t let getting older get you down. It’s too exhausting to get again up.”
– John Wagner

“Center age is if you’re sitting at dwelling on a Saturday evening and the phone rings, and also you hope it isn’t for you.”
– George Burns

“We don’t cease enjoying as a result of we develop outdated. We develop outdated as a result of we cease enjoying.”
– George Bernard Shaw

“If I’d identified I used to be going to dwell this lengthy, I’d have taken higher care of myself.”
– Eubie Blake

“I’ve too many wrinkles to have this little cash!”
– Cathy Guisewite

“ you’re getting outdated if you stoop to tie your shoelaces and surprise what else you are able to do when you’re down there.”
– George Burns

“It’s true, some wine improves with age. However provided that the grapes have been good within the first place.”
– Abigail Van Buren

Need extra inspiration for celebrations developing quickly? Then take a look at these inspirational birthday quotes, the quick birthday quotes on this submit and the inspirational marriage ceremony quotes right here. Plus, this one with quick marriage ceremony quotes.